Lunch
by MindlessDream
Summary: He couldn't believe his lack of luck today: first the severed leg in the tub, then the fight with Sherlock, and now this. Fantastic.


Disclaimer- BBC!Sherlock does not belong to me.

**Lunch**

Dr. John Watson rarely had such a calm lunchtime any more. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy all the exciting things that seemed to happen now. In fact, living with Sherlock Holmes may have been the best thing that could ever have happened to him. But once in a while, he needed a break. Sherlock is a man with a very demanding personality, and this particular day John just had to get out of the flat and have an hour or two for himself; the other man seemed to be in one of his dark moods today. Sherlock clearly didn't waste time on being a jerk, and why should he, when with a little persistence and imagination he could become a right bastard.

In his pocket, the mobile phone was buzzing away in need of attention. Obviously, his flatmate was trying to get a hold of him. That was what the mute button was for.

The Tulip Café was full of people grabbing a late lunch, but John was able to secured a two person table on the far left side of the small patio outside in the sun. He pulled out the newspaper he had bought on the way. The first ten pages were, naturally, all about the upcoming royal wedding: who would be there, speculations on what the bride would be wearing, etc. He was beginning to grow bored about the whole thing, but at least there were only a few days left.

After barely skimming over the royal articles, he continued searching for something a bit more interesting...Oh look, a murder case. Perfect.

Living with the only consulting detective in the world was obviously rubbing off on him.

"Is this chair taken?"

He was going to be alone so he did not need the other chair. "No, go ahead" John mumbled absent minded without looking up as he turned the page of The Telegraph.

He did not, however, expect the person to actually sit down at his table. The doctor huffed in annoyance, automatically glancing up to survey the intruder..and froze when he saw who it was.

"Hello, Johnny boy."

Jim Moriarty had a very unnerving smile plastered on his face "Don`t panic." he soothed in the way a mother would reassure her frightened child as John stood up determinedly, making the chair scrape obnoxiously loud on the floor.

Normally, several eyes would have turned their way, but at that exact moment here was an explosion of noise of dishes and silverware smashing to the floor followed by a loud yelp. John, by instinct, had turned toward the noise as well but even as his eyes turned away from the distraction, his sight line caught the movement of something red swipe over his jumper briefly before disappearing.

Unable to keep in a slight groan, John sat down in defeat. Did this man _always_ have a sniper at hand? He couldn't believe his lack of luck today: first the severed leg in the tub, then the fight with Sherlock, and now _this_. Fantastic.

"Act normal and everything will be fine." The man ensured him. The doctor was anything but calm at the moment, but tried his best to hide his rising panic. John took a quick glance around, taking in the situation. Of course, no one was taking notice of them, and why should they? There was nothing particularly _odd _about two men sitting at a table in the corner after all. There was a sniper there, he knew, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly _where_ it was, and as far as he knew, there were no cameras around, eliminating the small hope that Mycroft may be watching.

He was on his own.

"Oh, and my man up there can put bullets in numerous skulls before you could even think about an efficient way to leave," Moriarty added, sensing his captive's line of though, "Just to be clear."

Before John could reply, a waitress came over to their table putting on a charming but apologetic smile. "Sorry for the wait; My co-worker slipped with a tray and...lets just say there was a lot to clean up, can I take your order"

"Ah yes," Moriarty picked up the menu and glanced over it quickly "I think...we'll have Two Chicken Club, one coffee and one tea. Sound all right, Johnny?"

"I am not hungry" came the icy reply.

"Oh pish posh. He'll have it, love" Moriarty insisted with a wink. The waitress giggled and wrote down the order, "What kind of tea would you like?" She asked John cheerfully as she turned to him.

"Earl Grey?" John asked indifferently; he really didn't care which one.

"Right. The food will take maybe ten to fifteen minutes but I'll come back with the tea and coffee in a moment."

"Lovely." Moriarty looked after her for a second before turning back to the man opposite him.

"What do you want?" John spat as soon as the waitress was out of earshot.

Moriarty smiled pleasantly,"You see, I regret that we didn't get to chat much when we got together last time." He explained carelessly, "We basically only had time for `Repeat what I say or I'll shoot you` , if you remember."

The last line was said in an infuriating flippant way, which didn't help Johns temper.

"Yes, I remember" John ground out. He was about to say more when he noticed his pocket vibrate again, alerting him of another received text.

Moriarty held out his arm, palm upward,"Give me your mobile." He said casually, clearly expecting to be obeyed. The charming mask, however, faded abruptly when John made no move to do so, "Now!"

The demand had a dangerous edge to it now, and not really keen on testing the psychotic man, the doctor reached into his jacket and reluctantly placed the Nokia into the awaiting hand.

Moriarty looked at the display, grinned, and pocketed it before he continued talking with the strangely friendly tone he had started out with, "In my defence, though, I had a lot to do that day. Since that isn't an issue today, I decided that we are going to have a nice lunch together to make up for it."

John decided that he didn't want to answer and Moriarty continued "As all three of us are going to be seeing quite a bit of each other, I think it's very important for everyone to be familiar with one another, don't you agree?"

No, I most certainly _don't_."

Moriarty tsked, shaking his head in mock disappointment, "Don't be so hostile, Johnny boy. You're ruining my mood."

"And what exactly do you mean by `All three of us`?" the doctor asked icily, "I though it was only you two man-children who though of this as a game." His captor simply looked mildly amused now, and was about to reply when the waitress came back with their drinks, placing them hastily on the table with a smile before hurrying off to another customer.

The criminal was about to speak when a rather unfamiliar, cheerful series of beeps came out of his pocket, "Excuse me," Moriarty said, seeming displeased at the interruption, before pulling out his mobile to read the new text. He made an equally annoyed grunt as he started typing his reply on the small Qwerty panel. Boredom, clear as he shut his mobile and turned his attention back to the distressed doctor. "Sorry about that." He apologised, "People need help with the most _obvious_ of things sometimes. So," Moriarty continued, obvioulsy about to share what he had been about to say before the interruption, dragging it out before turning on a charming face to match his tone "How's the boyfriend?"

"You bloody well know he is not my boyfriend" John said calmly. What did this creep _want_?

"Does that mean you are single then?"

John rolled his eyes, deciding to ignore the coy wink that had accompanied the question. Sarah had had just about enough before when she found out he had gotten himself kidnapped _again_. The fact that he had been strapped to a bomb hadn't helped matters, either. He still worked at the clinic but despite the agreement to just be friends, he noticed that she was keeping a significant distance between them. He supposed that was her way of avoiding getting hurt should he actually get murdered...which didn't seem like too unlikely a scenario at the moment.

"Oh relax, I'm just teasing you" Moriarty chuckled before suddenly turning serious again.

"I am also here to get an update on recent events. Your blog has not been updated in a while and I though I should get it straight from the pets mouth now that we have quality time together"

"He is not doing anything."

"Oh, come now, Johnny. I know for a fact that Sherlock is up to mischief. I just don't know what _kind _of mischief, and that troubles me."

"You're giving me too much credit if you think he tells me what he does." John commented.

"Don't worry, Johnny boy, no one is going to tattle on you." Came the mock- soothing,child-like phrased reply, "You can tell Daddy _anything_."

"Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you." John replied confidently.

Moriarty seemed pleasantly surprised at that.

"Extraordinary..." he muttered, "Once again, you're in mortal danger and yet, without anyone to show it to, you're still loyal. Do you think Sherlock would do the same for you?"

"I wouldn't know." At least he was being honest.

Moriarty seemed to ponder this for a moment, looking at John as if he just got a little more interesting as the waitress arrived back at their table.

"Here are you're sandwiches." She said as she put their orders in front of them "Enjoy!"

"Thank you" Moriarty chirped back. He picked up one of the halves on his plate to begin eating, but John had had enough.

"You can leave now." John said with finality.

"Don't be ridiculous..I haven't even started eating" Moriarty commented before biting into the half and continuing in a very relaxed pace. It was almost as if he was purposely drawing this situation out for the sole purpose of irritating him.

In fact, this was probably Moriarty`s way of amusing himself between the murder plans and other ghastly activities consulting criminals did in a day.

Moriarty looked up from his sandwich impatiently, "You should eat more. According to your medical record you have lost an entire stone since its last update" John must have looked surprised because Moriarty chuckled.

"I don't know what's more disturbing," John commented, trying to make his voice sound even, "that you so easily got a hold of my medical journal or that you actually spent time _looking_ at it."

Then again, should he really be surprised about this? The man would strap a _bomb_ to him, so this particular invasion of his private life really _should_ be nothing. Nevertheless, it still didn't feel very nice.

"I just wanted to make sure you were up to the challenge." The consulting criminal explained in an offhand manner, "After all, you and I are going to have so much fun together...I would truly hate to have a break in the middle of playtime just because you couldn't handle it"

The man's tongue clicked at the last word. John couldn't help but shudder inwardly at the implications, was this what he was here to do? Kidnap him and torture him to death?

"Sherlock Holmes, self proclaimed sociopath and part-time thorn in my side, then suddenly you pop up and becomes his bestest best friend." Moriarty's voice rose slightly in pitch as he continued, " Of course, _I_ know Sherlock isn't as much a sociopath as he would like to be" Moriarty leaned forward, "I even think Sherlock has become slightly co-dependent on you. It's all so very sweet."

Suddenly, in the space of a blink, the serious expression returned,"I'm going to destroy you, John, and Sherlock will watch." His voice was soft, dangerous; his gaze unrelenting and causing John's chills return,"I have not yet decided _how_ it will happen; the possibilities are endless and all too delicious. Rest assured, whatever I _do_ choose, it will be special, and all for the two of you. It's going to be so much fun." Moriarty chuckled gleefully and as abruptly as it had occurred, it was gone. "Now eat before I force it down your throat!" Moriarty demanded harshly, obviously not about to take no for an answer

Moriarty's expression seemed so happy, his smile clashing completely with the hateful words that came out behind it. It just wasn't right.

John glared at the sandwich before he picked up one of the halves and started eating. To be fair, It was not the sandwiches fault that it had been ordered by the horrible person sitting opposite him. Moriarty seemed to be pleased and thankfully most of the meal went on in relative silence.

After what seemed like ages, Moriarty sighed in satisfaction as he finally swallowed his last mouthful of coffee.

"Well, I'd better be off." Moriarty commented flippantly as he set his cup down. Taking out his wallet, he pulled out a £20 note and placed it on the table along with John's Nokia. "That should cover it. Daddy's treat." and with a wink, the consulting criminal walked away, looking very content and cheerful.

"Till next time, Johnny boy. Take care." He called over his shoulder in farewell.

John didn't answer. Instead, his eyes followed the man until he and his Westwood suit was well out of sight. It was then, and only then, that he allowed himself a long, suffering sigh as he rested his head on his left hand.

Whether seconds, minutes, or hours passed as he sat there, John didn't know, but he was abruptly pulled out of his reverie by a very familiar voice shouting his name.

Looking up, he beheld a very frantic looking Sherlock Holmes making his way across the café to his table. It was clear, due to loss of breath as he stopped in front of the recently terrorized doctor, that he'd been running, eyes moving rapidly over the other and the table he was sitting at. John just nodded and took a sip of his almost cold tea. Sherlock huffed and sat down in the chair Moriarty had been the last occupant of less than ten minutes ago.

"I just had lunch with Moriarty." John said by way of greeting.

"I know" Sherlock pulled his blackberry out of the coat and showed John the text he had received.

**From: Unknown Number**

**Sat-14:12**

_How could you let poor Johnny sit at the Tulip Cafe all alone :(_

_I had to go keep him company._

_-JM_

"What did he want?" Sherlock asked, suddenly seeming to find the table surface very interesting.

"I don't think he wanted anything," John replied, "He just wanted to show you how easy it would be to get at me."

Sherlock nodded and looked around, "We should leave."He said as he did so.

John took a calm sip of his tea, "No hurry, Sherlock, they're gone"

"You can't know that!" Sherlock's immediate counter was a bit louder than was necessary.

John put his cup of tea down and regarded the consulting detective, "If Moriarty really wanted us out of the way, neither of us would be breathing right now." John pointed out, "He's just playing with us." Sherlock's features softened a bit as he continued to stare at his flatmate. John leaned back in his chair, "He says he's planning something special for us, probably something undoubtedly horrible and not as simple as a bomb. I for one will not sit idly and wait for whatever that psychopath has in store for us. We have to get rid of him, before he grows bored of us." It was calm at first but the image of Moriarty's mocking grin flashing through his memory became responsible for the harsh tone it ended in. Finally, the army doctor met the detective's now cool demeanour with a determined one of his own.

Calm, grey eyes continued to study the man opposite him with the familiar monotone expression, only ending it with the simplest of inquiries. "John, are you feeling allright. You look pale"

The doctor glared at him; sometimes the genius could be such an idiot, "Yes, lunch at gunpoint tends to do that to people."John commented,unable to avoid sarcasm in his annoyance.

Sherlock started to laugh, but stopped himself to become serious once more, "About earlier" he began, looking bothered and sounding uncharacteristically apologetic, but John cut him off, making a dismissive noise and rubbing his temples; he didn't really care about that any more.

"Lets just go home, " he muttered, "I need a cup of tea."

Giving a decisive nod to his clearly exhausted companion, Sherlock and John both stood up to leave. As they pushed in their chairs, the doctor picked up his phone from where Moriarty had left it on the table and lit the screen automatically, revealing no less than twenty-three unopened messages from the man in front of him.

He was just about to open the first one, when the tingling buzz of yet another received message interupted him. Most definitely _not_ from Sherlock this time.

In yet another instictive gesture, John opened it.

**From: Unknown Number**

**Sat-14:23**

_Let's do lunch again soon ;) _

_-Jim_

* * *

><p>AN: This just popped into my head and wouldn´t go away. Do not worry, your eyes will stop bleeding after a couple of hours^^,

For some reason i couldn´t stop listening to the track Witchcraft on the Silent Hill Homecoming Soundtrack while writing this...

Shout out to my wonderful beta Bkwrm19 who made it less of an eyesore_ :-*  
><em>


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